Tinder is a phenomenon, but the art of finding a mate is an innate part of human lives and spans back through the ages. This selection of apps proves there’s something for everyone in the mobile universe. Just keep the hand sanitiser at the ready in case you want to disinfect your digits after perusing some of these.
SeekingArrangement
– This app goes for the direct approach, where women can search for a man willing to shower them with gifts and prizes. Sure, one might call this shallow on both parties part, but if everyone’s stating what they want up front, then maaaybe it’s all good? The app uses Tinder inspired swipes to find your best match, and naturally, a prerequisite for the men is that they have the means to keep their sugar baby happy. The app describes itself as being akin to a business relationship, with both parties clearly defining what they need and expect. And in case you thought things were getting misogynistic, they also cater to Sugar Mummas. The service claims to have over 4.5 million users across its app and website, and that’s enough sugar to cause cavities, baby.
https://www.seekingarrangement.com
FarmersOnly
– is, well… exactly as it sounds. The farmer wants a wife, she just must also be a farmer. This app’s mantra is “City folks just don’t get it!” and I’m guessing there are a lot of city folk who are happy to remain in ignorant bliss. But if you’re living in the sticks and feeling lonely, with hankerings a porch dog just can’t fulfill, then this might be a great way to find a soulmate. The app is currently only available for Android and the service is most popular in the US and Russia; it’s nice to see some good came out of the cold war.
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.farmersonly.android&hl=en
Lulu
– okay ladies, here’s your chance to date and rate guys like you’re writing a product review for a toaster, and given some guy’s personalities, that might not be far off the mark. This app uses the “been there, done that” philosophy, or is it been there, done him? Either way, the idea is to rate guys you’ve dated, from personality traits to kissing, to… well… the less PG-rated items. Then you presumably break up, or will after he reads what you posted about him in public, and the next time a lucky girl meets that same guy in a bar or supermarket, she can look him up and get your take on what kind of guy he is, or isn’t as the case may be. Nope, sorry guys, you can’t rate the ladies, but you can pay a monthly fee to add detailed stats to your existing profile. Nothing says true love better than a public lynching.
Wingman
– are you a member of the mile high club? Do you want to be? This app is Grinder for air travelers. Just when you thought flying couldn’t get any more uncomfortable, imagine sitting on a plane where users of this app find each other, go for a little rendezvous inside a coffin-sized bathroom, then wiggle past you and back into their seats with no one being any the wiser. You’d hope. The app did a beta test recently that made a big splash with lots of press and buzz. The official app release is due shortly, and if you run really fast, you can pre-board and be among the first to download it. Now there’s a new reason to hate flying.
Flirt Planet
– do you know what a Flirtopian is? Well, they’re citizens of a CGI based dating app that’s part video game part flirtual reality. You create an avatar of your virtual self, then wander the streets in search of a hot pixel girl to practice your pick-up lines on. Find out which avatars win the affections of others… well, maybe; those pesky humanoids are a little unpredictable. The app is actually sort of innovative, and if there’s any ladies nerdy enough to think this is a great way to find a soulmate, then I’m guessing there’ll be a lot of lonely suitors itching to talk to a real girl!
Luxy
– to be perfectly blunt, this app is for gold-diggers looking for a millionaire ‘soulmate’. There’s no gender lines here, but the service is definitely skewed toward women seeking rich men. Hey, people look for love based on all sorts of qualifiers, so props to you if you know what you want and are willing to go after it. The service has been featured on every major news outlet, and yes, has even made some long-lasting matches. Apparently diamonds really can be a girl’s best friend.
SLS.
– this app is for swingers, so drop your keys into that virtual bowl and see who turns up as your next good time. The app is for consenting couples and is an extension of the swinglifestyle.com website, so now you can swing on the go (it sounds like something for monkeys). Alexa ranks this site’s popularity at 3,362 in the US and just over 16,000 worldwide, which adds up to a lot of swinging going on!
https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/sls./id656885117?mt=8
Bad Date Rescue
Whilst not a dating app, we’ve all been on a bad date or two in our lives. This one is brought to you by the good people of eHarmony, who apparently know a little something about bad dates. The app is basically a timer that calls you with a faux message from your mum, boss, or neighbour, just to name a few. The calls are prerecorded and you can listen to them while giving your best performance, or even put on speaker, as you dash for the door to deal with the emergency at hand. Timers can be set for 5 minutes, 1 minute, or 5 seconds, in case the date is going exceptionally badly. You can also set timers to deliver these canned messages at specific times. Desperate times; disparate measures.
https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/bad-date-rescue/id512695361?mt=8